Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
funny running country
I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people's doors and running away. God that was a good game.
funny humor people
People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.'
funny humor thinking
On GM crops: I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of velcro, to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles. But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding velcro so it's a bit of a long shot.
funny humor talking
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently...
funny humor outlook-on-life
It's the augmented fourth, or diminished fifth, depending on your outlook on life...
funny humor ducks
I'm a vegetarian, I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish aren't they.
funny queens humor
"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers?
funny country humor
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"
funny humor long
Nostalgia: How long's that been around?
funny humor existentialist
I am a confectionery-based existentialist.
disappointment chocolate despair
I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment ! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
funny humor snacks
The scotch egg is such a Scottish food. It's as though a great Scottish chef said: I need a tasty snack. Let's take an egg... and wrap it in meat!! Makes it a bit harder.
funny book humor
Aldous Huxley took the drug mescaline and then chronicled his experience in the book The Doors of Perception. Now, I don't actually think that's the first thing he wrote: he probably wrote 'my brain is melting' ten thousand times, but it was the book that the critics latched on to.
funny morning sorry
I feel sorry for James Blunt, he has to wake up every morning and think 'Oh my God, I'm James Blunt, what have I done?'