Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey
Mark Robert "Bill" Baileyis an English comedian, musician, actor, TV and radio presenter and author. Bailey is well known for his role in Black Books and for his appearances on Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Have I Got News for You, and QI as well as his extensive stand-up work...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth13 January 1965
CityBath, England
funny believe humor
Relaxed Empiricism -- I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened.
pigs lucky concrete
I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.
orange laughing towns
Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.
animal fruit stealing
Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
knowing contentment
Contentment is knowing you're right
funny stupid humor
(Imitating a Belarus citizen commenting on their national flag) Stupid National Anthem....Look at this flag; Two bears fighting over a pineapple. What kind of message does that send to the world? Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
funny hurt humor
I tried to like it. For me, it was like being smacked around the head by a piece of IKEA furniture: it hurts, but you've got to admire the workmanship.
funny humor unique
Welcome to the O2. A unique building in Dublin, in that it is actually finished.
funny dream country
Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.
funny couple humor
There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
funny humor cheese
Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
beautiful beautiful-things
So many beautiful things, I cannot possess them all!
thinking enough easier
If you have enough money to be comfortable it makes life a lot easier and that's undeniable. But I think happiness is more elusive.
fun teaching college
I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.