Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Patrick Surtain

regains the form he had a couple of years ago.

Brian Champion

Reese, he's always competing. He left some pitches up in the first couple innings and we made some blunders. ... But he stayed within himself and kept battling, kept competing.

Winston Justice

Our relationship is very, very close. He visited me a couple of times when I was suspended and he helped me through the whole process.

Rich Rodriguez

Pat, when he goes in there it's like he's been there the whole time. He managed the game well, made a couple of big plays.

Jay Mergenthaler

Our main goals are to finish over .500 and to win a couple of tournament games.

Shahid Ghori

Our leaders have been receiving threats for the past couple of months and we had informed the government about it, but no security was provided to our leaders.

Chauncey Billups

Our last game was Tuesday, so I had a couple days to soak it in. That's when it kind of hit me that I made it. I'm an All-Star. It's still a little surreal right now. It's something that I always wanted.

Steve Massey

(People need to) stop irrigating their lawns. This time in the winter, you don't need to be watering the ground around your home but every couple of weeks.

Harold Evensky

People have historically benefited from a couple of different types of immediate annuities.

Justin Verlander

People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse.

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Karen Leathem

I think it's sort of a trademark quality of New Orleans that people can usually find humor in the worst situations.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Ed Peterson

I think this is a legislative sense of humor the rest of us don't appreciate.

Stephen J. Cannell

I love 'Dexter.' The dark sense of humor is wonderful.

Carlos Ponce

I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.