Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinett Bierce
Ambrose Gwinnett Biercewas an American editorialist, journalist, short story writer, fabulist, and satirist. He wrote the short story "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" and compiled a satirical lexicon, The Devil's Dictionary. His vehemence as a critic, his motto "Nothing matters", and the sardonic view of human nature that informed his work, all earned him the nickname "Bitter Bierce"...
according begins heaven lies lives lying period soon
INFANCY, n. The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies about us." The world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
period screwed thousand
MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.
hundred period three
YEAR, n. A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
attended cold commonly country cushion experiment governed grow letting period persons results spot unhappy warm worthy zeal
INTERREGNUM, n. The period during which a monarchical country is governed by a warm spot on the cushion of the throne. The experiment of letting the spot grow cold has commonly been attended by most unhappy results from the zeal of many worthy persons to make it warm again.
cheating ears easy horrors knew loud marry mine night peace period periods uproar voice woo
PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.O, what's the loud uproar assailing Mine ears without cease?'Tis the voice of the hopeful, all-hailing The horrors of peace.Ah, Peace Universal; they woo it -- Would marry it, too. If only they knew how to do it'Twere easy to do.They're working by night and by day On their problem, like moles. Have mercy, O Heaven, I pray, On their meddlesome souls! --Ro Amil
cheating period periods
Peace, n.: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
cheating peace period periods
Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
age-and-aging compound life longer period remain vices vigor
Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no longer the vigor to commit.
affairs american-journalist friends-or-friendship future happiness period time
The future is that period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true, and our happiness is assured.
beautiful deadly
In Italian, a belladonna is a beautiful lady; in English, it's a deadly poison.
among cried grown sensible slow tiresome worth
INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.""You tiresome man!"" cried Indolentio's wife,""You've grown indifferent to all in life.""""Indifferent?"" he drawled with a slow smile;""I would be, dear, but it is not worth while."" --Apuleius M. Gokul
baths bind chiefly compound conceal edifice employed facilitate generally infection ink men money mortar occurs others paid pay pays peculiar persons promote properties quality stones together twice
INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime. The properties of ink are peculiar and contradictory: it may be used to make reputations and unmake them; to blacken them and to make them white; but it is most generally and acceptably employed as a mortar to bind together the stones of an edifice of fame, and as a whitewash to conceal afterward the rascal quality of the material. There are men called journalists who have established ink baths which some persons pay money to get into, others to get out of. Not infrequently it occurs that a person who has paid to get in pays twice as much to get out.
degree enormity next offense
INJURY, n. An offense next in degree of enormity to a slight.
country thinks
IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.