Famous Quotes & Sayings

Steven Moffat

Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

Richard Helms

A zen couch potato is a person who contemplates the nature of televised existence.

T. S. Eliot

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Sydney J. Harris

Democracy is the only system that persists in asking the powers that be whether they are the powers that ought to be.

Susan Sontag

The discovery of the good taste of bad taste can be very liberating. The man who insists on high and serious pleasures is depriving himself of pleasure; he continually restricts what he can enjoy; in the constant exercise of his good taste he will eventually price himself out of the market, so to speak. Here Camp taste supervenes upon good taste as a daring and witty hedonism. It makes the man of good taste cheerful, where before he ran the risk of being chronically frustrated. It is good for the digestion.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I knew a witty physician who found theology in the biliary duct, and used to affirm that if there was a disease in the liver, the man became a Calvinist, and if that organ was sound, he became a Unitarian.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Lily Tomlin

I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it's much too confining.

Lily Tomlin

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Les Dawson

I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.

Terry Pratchett

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

Terry Pratchett

People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

Richard Brinsley Sheridan

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.

Stephen Fry

Between funny and witty Falls the shadow

Rob Brydon

I like witty people, people who can be witty on the spot.

Robert Pattinson

I don't know if I'm particularly funny, I mean one of my legs is shorter than the other one, it makes everything look very awkward, so I can just pretty much look like an idiot, but I don't know whether I can be like witty. It could be a problem.

Robert Falcon Scott

Great God! This is an awful place.

Voltaire

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Voltaire

A witty quote proves nothing.

Voltaire

A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention.

William Styron

Like Hemingway and Faulkner, but in an entirely different mode, Fitzgerald had that singular quality without which a writer is not really a writer at all, and that is a voice, a distinct and identifiable voice. This is really not the same thing as a style; a style can be emulated, a voice cannot, and the witty, rueful, elegaic voice gives his work its bright authenticity.

Walter Savage Landor

Every witticism is an inexact thought; that which is perfectly true is imperfectly witty.

Winston Churchill

If you wanted nothing done at all, Balfour was the man for the job.

Winston Churchill

He looks like a female llama who has been surprised in the bath.

Winston Churchill

A sheep in sheep's clothing.

Winston Churchill

In war it does not matter who is right, but who is left.

Winston Churchill

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Winston Churchill

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

Virginia Woolf

I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it.

Virginia Woolf

The history of most women is hidden either by silence, or by flourishes and ornaments that amount to silence.

Woody Allen

Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.

Woody Allen

I can levitate birds. No one cares.

Woody Allen

What if the worst is true? What if there's no God, and you only go around once, and that's it? Don't you want to be a part of the experience? You know, what the hell? It's not all a drag, and I'm thinking to myself: Geez! I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get and just enjoy it while it lasts. And, you know, after-who knows? Maybe there is something, nobody really knows. I know that maybe is a very slim reed to hang your whole life on, but that's the best we have.