Famous Quotes & Sayings

George Mikes

The Japanese are human beings like the rest of us, but they will strongly resent this insinuation.

George Mikes

The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan, Italians in Yugoslavia and Hungarians in Czechoslovakia that they simply cannot give a thought to Negroes in the United States.

George Mikes

The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.

George Mikes

Tel-Aviv airport is still the only airport in the world where each passenger is met by ten relatives.

George Mikes

If it is gay, ribald and lascivious night-life you are after, Israel is not the place for you. The night clubs you do find are nearer in spirit to a YMCA than to dens of iniquity.

George Mikes

Israel also deprived the world of its chance of shedding tears of genuine sympathy over her destruction. The world resents this; it likes to feel noble and sympathetic.

George Mikes

'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'

George Mikes

Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language.

George Mikes

When a wicked and unworthy subject annoyed the Sultan of Turkey or the Czar of Russia, he had his head cut of without much ceremony; but when the same happened in England, the monarch declared : "We are not amused".

George Mikes

The British suffer from a most unfortunate superiority complex - unjustified even under Victoria and most certainly hopelessly out-of-date today.

Miguel de Cervantes

Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.

Jonathan Kellerman

Government is like junior high. Your status depends upon whom you're able to persecute.

Jon Stewart

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.

Jon Stewart

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

L. Ron Hubbard

It is considered in England and the United States that the Government of South Africa is altogether too harsh with its native peoples. It is sadly humorous to notice that the native in South Africa, however, holds an exactly reverse opinion and the fault he finds with the South African Government is that it is far too lenient in its administration of laws throughout the native populace.

Ross Perot

[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever tried to call them at home before.

Ross Perot

Japan is our rival, not our enemy. Japan is a competitor... Bashing a Toyota won't make a better car.

Robert Reich

Averages don't always reveal the most telling realities. You know, Shaquille O'Neal and I have an average height of 6 feet.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

I'm really interested in the link between creativity and humor because humor is a type of creativity, and I do think that humorous people and humorous health helps creativity.

Walt Kelly

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

Washington Irving

He that drinks beer, thinks beer.

Winston Churchill

Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting.

Winston Churchill

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

Winston Churchill

Show me a young Conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old Liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.

William S. Paley

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Woody Allen

At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.

Woody Allen

Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes ...

Woody Allen

Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.

Woody Allen

Sygmnd was a poor Austrian who'd lost all the vowels in his name in a boating accident.

William F. Buckley, Jr.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Winston Churchill

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

Will Shetterly

Unless you're writing for a humorous effect, elves or space aliens and all creatures who aren't human should at least be as strange as, oh, the French.