Famous Quotes & Sayings

Walt Kelly

Now is the time for all good men to come to.

Toby Young

I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them.

Ronald Reagan

Well, I would - if they realized that we - again if - if we led them back to that stalemate only because our retaliatory power, our seconds, or strike at them after our first strike, would be so destructive they they couldn't afford it, that would hold them off.

Ronald Reagan

Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees.

Sam Levenson

The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.

Natalie Merchant

I don't think women's prisons are environments for dance routines, and I don't think mass murder is humorous.

Steve Buscemi

My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like a dig.

Stanislaw Lem

Cancel me not - for what then shall remain? Abscissas, some mantissas, modules, modes, A root or two, a torus and a node: The inverse of my verse, a null domain.

Stanislaw Lem

Come, let us hasten to a higher plane, Where dyads tread the fairy fields of Venn, Their indices bedecked from one to _ n, Commingled in an endless Markov chain!

Stanislaw Lem

In Riemann, Hilbert or in Banach space Let superscripts and subscripts go their ways. Our symptotes no longer out of phase, We shall encounter, counting, face to face.

Stanislaw Lem

I'll grant the random access to my heart, Thoul't tell me all the constants of thy love; And so we two shall all love's lemmas prove And in our bound partition never part.

Sergio Aragones

Eventually I would like to touch all the genres. I would like to do some detective stories, and I want to do a Western. I would want to do humorous Westerns.

Tim Allen

Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, "And let there be aluminum siding." Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree's on a golf course, all the better.

Steven Wright

I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.

Thomas Bailey Aldrich

It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day. Perhaps I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it. I don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and the signature (which I guessed at). There's a singular and a perpetual charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its novelty .... Other letters are read and thrown away and forgotten, but yours are kept forever - unread. One of them will last a reasonable man a lifetime.

Victor Kiam

You can only govern men by serving them. The rule is without exception.

Robert Benchley

If you think that you have caught a cold, call in a good doctor. Call in three good doctors and play bridge.

Rita Rudner

Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.

Rita Rudner

Men like cars, women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

Rene Descartes

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

Tom Robbins

America is a nation of 270 million people: 100 million of them are gangsters, another 100 million are hustlers, 50 million are complete lunatics, and every single one of us is secretly in show business. Isn't that fabulous?

Tom Robbins

From the air, Vatican City looked like a marble Monopoly set. The Church owned all the property from Broadwalk to Illinois Avenue, has three hotels on every lot, and no matter how often it tossed the dice you just knew it would never land on Go to Jail, it would be forever passing Go and collecting $200.

Tom Robbins

The Japanese have become so smitten with the Western condiment - its texture as silky as a kimono, its tang as understated as the tang of Zen - that today they have a word for mayonnaise junkie: mayora.

Tom Robbins

As expected, you get his machine. Someday, even the "call of nature" will be answered by a machine.

Tom Lehrer

Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy.

Tom Lehrer

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

Vikram Seth

Poetry, I think, intensifies the reader's experience. If it's a humorous facet of the story, poetry makes it more exuberant. If it's a sad facet, poetry can make it more poignant.

V. S. Pritchett

The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life.

Suzanne Collins

Technically, I am unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails can do. Especially if the target is unprepared.

Suzanne Collins

If you appeal to the crowd, either by being humorous or brutal or eccentric, you gain favor.

Suzanne Collins

I really can't think about kissing when I've got a rebellion to incite.

Suzanne Collins

No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.

Tori Spelling

I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level.