Famous Quotes & Sayings

Alfred Hitchcock

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.

Alfred Hitchcock

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Alf Landon

Wherever I have gone in this country, I have found Americans.

Angela Carter

Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people.

Amy Vanderbilt

Everyone knows that a man can marry even if he reaches the age of 102, is penniless, and has all his facilities gone. There is always some woman willing to take a chance on him.

Amy Schumer

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

Amy Schumer

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Amy Schumer

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

Alphonse Allais

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime.

Anthony Burgess

We only need to wear shoes because the British built roads which hurt our feet.

Andy Summers

Aping what you've already done is just so dangerous and unrewarding.

Andy Samberg

I too turned to Webster's Dictionary and it defined Harvard University as a season for gathering crops.

Andy Rooney

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Andy Rooney

You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.

Andy Rooney

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Andy Rooney

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

Andy Warhol

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?

Andy Warhol

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.

Andy Warhol

I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.

Andy Warhol

I am a deeply superficial person.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.

Alex Ferguson

Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out.

Alex Ferguson

When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure.

Denis Leary

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

Bill Cosby

If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh.

Richie Benaud

Rory Bremner I have no problem with; he is a satirist, and a very funny one, too.

What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize.

Ethan Hawke

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.

Samuel Goldwyn

Don't pay any attention to the critics - don't even ignore them.

Samuel Butler

If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death.

Samuel Butler

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

Samuel Butler

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Samuel Butler

Those who have never had a father can at any rate never know the sweets of losing one. To most men the death of his father is a new lease of life.