Famous Quotes & Sayings

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

Agnes Repplier

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Abba Eban

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Charles de Gaulle

What do you take me for, an idiot?

Charles Caleb Colton

Shakespeare, Butler and Bacon have rendered it extremely difficult for all who come after them to be sublime, witty or profound.

Charles Simmons

Euphonic and harmonious expressions, forcible and just expressions, profound and comprehensive expressions, and especially apt and witty expressions, each have their specific influence upon different minds, and their common influence upon all minds.... It is therefore high time our most valuable aphorisms and paragraphs were put in order for frequent perusal, and for handy reference, as the circumstances of life call up subjects.

Ricky Gervais

Most people sitting at home aren't cool, successful, witty Hollywood stars, but they all worry about what people think of them when they faux pas.

Susan B. Anthony

Every woman should have a purse of her own.

Dave Barry

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Dave Barry

What I think is that the F-word is basically just a convenient nasty-sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up with a terrific-ally witty insult, the kind Winston Churchill always came up with when enormous women asked him stupid questions at parties.

Dave Barry

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

Dave Barry

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn.

Carol Moseley Braun

I'm used to people not paying me a whole lot of attention and underestimating me and, frankly, for me a big challenge is to have people believe that I can be the president of the United States.

Carol Moseley Braun

I believe that our message of rebuilding America is one that will resonate with the American people.

Carlos Mencia

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.

Carlos Mencia

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

Carlos Ghosn

I don't believe in hostile moves. I don't believe they carry any value.

Carlos Ghosn

Don't believe what I say. Believe what I do.

Carlos Castaneda

... when confronted with unusual life situations... A warrior acts as if nothing had ever happened, because he doesn't believe in anything, yet he accepts everything at its face value.

Carlos Castaneda

What is wrong with us human beings, and has been wrong since time immemorial, is that without ever stating it in so many words, we believe that we have entered the realm of immortality. We behave as if we are never going to die - an infantile arrogance. But even more injurious than this sense of immortality is what comes with it : the sense that we can engulf this inconcievable universe with our minds.

Carl Bernstein

Even at the end of a presidential election campaign, we have no way to know what Mitt Romney really believes.