W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
William Claude Dukenfield, better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionMovie Actor
Date of Birth29 January 1880
CityDarby, PA
CountryUnited States of America
father science experts
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
christmas two merry
A merry Christmas to all my friends except two.
hands eels water
The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water.
funny drinking book
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
christmas drinking house
Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
travel drinking book
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
nature night yards
Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.
night philadelphia towns
Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night
may milk cry
Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.
beautiful drinking sleep
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
religious xmas prayer
Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy - but to the enlightened it is the same as asking Santa Claus to bring you something for Xmas
horse said used
I didn't squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn't see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
feet house littles
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
gambling alcohol other-half
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.