Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
snakes owning-a-pet adorable
When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.
funny humor snakes
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
snakes
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
snakes vests arms
Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
american-comedian ran wearing
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
body gonna leave science
When I die, I'm gonna leave my body to science fiction.
I'm going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.