Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
sleep next-day self
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
self groups helping
How can there be self-help groups?
self boss gas-stations
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
american-comedian ask babies baby friend later noises
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
french ordered sign toast
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
best defensive game
I think that was our best defensive game of the year.
ahead
I was just getting too ahead of myself. I was rushing.
coach good worked
It didn't look like they were comfortable. Coach K and Esteban worked it in and out today, so (WIU) didn't know what was coming, so they didn't get any good swings.
although leave whenever
I was cesarean born. You can't really tell, although whenever I leave a house, I go out through a window.