Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
birthday moving tired
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
moving taken focus
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"
funny dog moving
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.
moving night thinking
I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
moving tired stills
Day One: Still tired from the move.
moving next-week mars
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
moving tired idiot
Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.
funny moving humor
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
american-comedian ask babies baby friend later noises
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
french ordered sign toast
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?