Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humorous needs
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
funny sarcastic humorous
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
funny laughter humorous
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
humorous school college
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
funny hilarious humorous
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
life witty humorous
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
funny food humorous
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
funny humorous ideas
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
phones ears mouths
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
funny humor thinking
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
best defensive game
I think that was our best defensive game of the year.
ahead
I was just getting too ahead of myself. I was rushing.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.