Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny humorous needs
When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'
funny sarcastic humorous
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
funny laughter humorous
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
humorous school college
I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
life witty humorous
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
funny food humorous
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
funny humorous ideas
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
audience came clicked johnny since tonight watching
I've wanted to do it since I was 14 years old, from watching 'The Tonight Show,' watching Johnny (Carson) and the other comedians. Something clicked in me that I wanted to be one of those guys, someone who came out and made the audience laugh.
statue
The statue is permanently out of place in my house,
spot
I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
american-comedian
I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically.
american-comedian
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me.
american-comedian
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?