Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
birthday moving tired
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
funny birthday humor
How young can you die of old age?
years eight birth
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
birth certificates birth-certificate
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
birthday aunt years
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
funny humor 50th-birthday
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
funny birthday hilarious
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
funny happy-birthday friends
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
funny birthday humor
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
american-comedian ask babies baby friend later noises
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
french ordered sign toast
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.