Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
believe dont-believe
Because I don't believe everything I read.
believe yeah dont-believe
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
funny believe humor
All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.
stars believe men
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
running believe belief
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"
american-comedian ask babies baby friend later noises
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises the baby makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
french ordered sign toast
I was at this restaurant. The sign said "Breakfast Anytime." So I ordered French Toast in the Renaissance.
bought microwave
I bought an occassional table........sometimes it's a microwave oven.
harder run supposed system
We have run the hydro system harder than it was supposed to be run this year.
bond effect factor line modelling per petrol remains rise suggest yields
Our modelling suggest bond yields should rise in line with the US by at least 1 per cent. The X factor remains any flow-on effect from petrol prices.
american-comedian bothers deep grow
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?
happens
It happens so fast, and I've been doing it so long that it's unconscious,
best defensive game
I think that was our best defensive game of the year.
ahead
I was just getting too ahead of myself. I was rushing.