Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Alexander Wrightis an American comedian, actor, writer, and an Oscar-winning film producer. He is known for his distinctly lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical, and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth6 December 1955
CountryUnited States of America
funny children book
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
funny birthday humor
How young can you die of old age?
friendship acupuncture voodoo
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
sleep next-day self
I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
dream night world
Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.
funny humor play
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
funny girl humor
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
funny time humor
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
money fax-machines i-can
I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect.
home phones machines
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
car comedian sound
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
funny humor night
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, 'The whole time.
girlfriend wall thinking
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.
perspective insane trying
The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.