Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth13 May 1964
CountryUnited States of America
cows milk cry
Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
hurt eye window-to-the-soul
If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex?
marijuana drug together
Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
failure dying buzz
There's a buzz to failing and not dying.
facts needs enough
If you repeat it, it's true. If you repeat it, it's true. And through repetition, something becomes true. If you repeat it enough. Until it becomes true. Or do I need to repeat that for you?
religious hate leader
If someone spreads hate then they're not your religious leader.
hard-work needs vote
Republicans will need to work hard to capture the Latino vote instead of their current strategy of capturing Latinos.
butterfly cocoons stomach
I've got butterflies in my stomach... because I ate a cocoon quesadilla!
kids discipline arbitrary
Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.
successful choices passionate
I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.
mom people selling
Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too.
thoughtful bills calm
Bill Moyers is everything I never aspire to be: Calm, Thoughtful, and Informative.
pie easy kitten
Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
gay acting proud
Am I proud of being straight? No. You know why? Because if I start acting proud, that's going to make me seem kind of gay.