Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Diller
Phyllis Ada Driver, better known as Phyllis Diller, was an American stand-up comedian, actress, singer, dancer, and voice artist, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh...
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 July 1917
CityLima, OH
missing mouths lasts
I was in a beauty contest once. I not only came in last, I was hit in the mouth by Miss Congeniality.
advice follow work
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle--keep away from children.
drops food ties
Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator
american-comedian head pro reason tells
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
american-comedian walker
You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
best joke
If that's the best joke in the world, then I've never had a face-lift.
chore home prepared stage studio tremendous tv
He was very much at home in the TV studio or on stage live anywhere; that is where he really lived. And, you know what, it was never a chore for him. It was never nerve-racking. He was always so completely prepared by his tremendous organization that he had put together,
air time
He was in the air most of the time ... on the air, in the air, one way or the other. It was his thing and this was his airport.
anger business dealing kitchen recipe sound twenty usual
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual
cleaning growing house kids sidewalk stops
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing
mother baby laughing
I got my first laugh when my mother entered me in a baby contest.
thinking age cocktails
I'm the woman who used to think that middle-age spread was a cocktail dip.
night hours originals
Never refer to your wedding night as the original amateur hour.
jeans mercy ifs
If my jeans could talk, they'd plead for mercy.