Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
funny humor mean
I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.
funny kings sorry
Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
funny humor play
Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they're really doing is saying, "I can't knit, get this away from me!"
funny humor guy
I like the public hot-tub at the hotels. I like when a guy is already in there, I say, "Hey, do you mind if I join you?" Then I go turn the heat up, and I add some carrots and onions.
funny humor people
I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.
funny humor drug
I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.
funny humor sea
You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
funny humor smell
I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!
food waffles pancakes
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
funny daughter mother
People associate long hair with drug use. I wish people associated long hair with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake. And then strangers would see a long haired guy and say, "That guy eats cake!" "He is on bundt cake!" Mothers saying to their daughters, "Don't bring the cake eater over here anymore. He smells like flour. Did you see how excited he got when he found out your birthday was fast approaching?"
funny witty clever
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
funny humor car
I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.
funny humor buns
How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that or they're adhesive on one side. Peel off the backing, place it on the bun.
funny humor home
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.