Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth24 February 1968
CitySaint Paul, MN
CountryUnited States of America
fall drinking leather-jackets
I went to a restaurant, and I saw a guy wearing a leather jacket, eating a hamburger, drinking a glass of milk. I said, "Dude, you are a cow. The metamorphosis is complete. Don't fall asleep or I will tip you over!"
funny sweet humor
Advil has a candy coating. It's delicious. Then it says on the bottle, do not have more than two. Then why do they have a candy coating? I cannot help myself. Let me have ten Advil, I have a sweet tooth.
funny life dream
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.
military army hands
I never joined the army because at ease was never that easy to me. Seemed rather uptight still. I don't relax by parting my legs slightly and putting my hands behind my back. That does not equal ease. At ease was not being in the military. I am at ease, bro, because I am not in the military.
funny humor hot
I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.
funny birthday humor
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.
funny humor really-cool
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
funny humor eye
Snake eyes is a gambling term, and an animal term, too.
funny brother humor
When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.
funny humor animal
I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.
golf guy way
I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...
rip missing cheese
Swiss Cheese is a rip-off It's the only cheese I can bite into and miss
funny humor cutting
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said, "Screw it. Cut 'em up!"
funny humor thinking
Tony the Tiger usually thinks that stuff is great.