Milton Berle
Milton Berle
Milton Berlewas an American comedian and actor. As the host of NBC's Texaco Star Theater, he was the first major American television star and was known to millions of viewers as "Uncle Miltie" and "Mr. Television" during TV's golden age...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Actor
Date of Birth12 July 1908
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
sex school kids
I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.
nice men car
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.
doctors house patient
Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.
horse hero kissing
An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.
poverty disgrace inconvenient
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
thinking middlemen
I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
new-year years aspirin
I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
education teacher teaching
Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.
beautiful making-love lasts
The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.
teacher children parent
This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!
christmas batteries
For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.
women two years
At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.
humorous shipping rough
It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.
valentine doors wife
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.