Laurie Helgoe
Laurie Helgoe
Laurie Anne Helgoeis an American psychologist and author specializing in personality development and the psychology of desire. In 2008, her writing revealed that scholarly and popular accounts regarding humans who display the personality traits of introversion and extroversion were flawed, and that, instead of representing a 25-30% of the population, introverts make up 57% of the population. The identified flaw was a dated reliance on the early work of Isabel Briggs Myers, and the failure to note the latest comprehensive...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionPsychologist
Date of Birth10 December 1960
CountryUnited States of America
Introverts tend to internalize problems. In other words, we place the source of problems within and blame ourselves. Though introverts may also externalize and see others as the problem, it's more convenient to keep the problem "in house." Internalizers tend to be reliable and responsible, but we can also be very hard on ourselves.
Introvert, her brain responds with a high level of activity, it is as if several lights start flashing on a control panel.
When an introvert cares about someone, she also wants contact, not so much to keep up with the events of the other person's life, but to keep up with what's inside: the evolution of ideas, values, thoughts, and feelings.
When an introvert is quiet, don't assume he is depressed, snobbish or socially deficient.
Whatever kind of introvert you are, some people will find you 'too much' in some ways and 'not enough' in others.
Introverts often assume what's inside is visible on the outside. We don't have to invent or fake the emotion; we just need to allow it to be seen!
An introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn't interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction. In fact, she knows that the party will leave her feeling more alone and alienated.
Introverts paradoxically pull away from culture and create culture.
Introverts keep their best stuff inside—that is, until it is ready. And this drives extroverts crazy! The explanation for the introvert’s behavior—and there must be an explanation for this behavior, say the extroverts—is that he or she is antisocial, out of touch, or simply a snob.
Asking others for input puts you in the driver's seat, and may feel less awkward than having to watch yourself on video.
Reading is like travel, allowing you to exit your own life for a bit, and to come back with a renewed, even inspired, perspective.
Extroverts want us to have fun, because they assume we want what they want. And sometimes we do. But "fun" itself is a "bright" word, the kind of word that comes with flashing lights and an exclamation point! One of Merriam-Webster's definitions of "fun" is "violent or excited activity or argument." The very word makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room with lots of pillows-by myself.
Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.
Extroverts are more attuned to social rewards, so they are more likely to flash a smile for effect. A notable exception are introverts - like me - whom I call "socially accessible" introverts. We have been trained well to smile and nod, which can place a burden on our processing efforts.