Laurie Helgoe
Laurie Helgoe
Laurie Anne Helgoeis an American psychologist and author specializing in personality development and the psychology of desire. In 2008, her writing revealed that scholarly and popular accounts regarding humans who display the personality traits of introversion and extroversion were flawed, and that, instead of representing a 25-30% of the population, introverts make up 57% of the population. The identified flaw was a dated reliance on the early work of Isabel Briggs Myers, and the failure to note the latest comprehensive...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionPsychologist
Date of Birth10 December 1960
CountryUnited States of America
Extroverts are more responsive to high-intensity and "happy" stimuli, which may be why an extrovert gets frustrated at the less "readable" face of the introvert.
Introvert conversations are like jazz. Each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo.
Introverts process information internally, and we don't like to express our thoughts until they are fully formed.
America is a noisy culture, unlike, say, Finland, which values silence. Individualism, dominant in the U.S. and Germany, promotes the direct, fast-paced style of communication associated with extraversion. Collectivistic societies, such as those in East Asia, value privacy and restraint, qualities more characteristic of introverts.
If you ask an introvert a question, wait until she thinks about it. Introverts think before speaking, not through speaking. If you want to get to the good stuff, you need to slow down.
Introverts like being introverts. We are drawn to ideas, we are passionate observers, and for us, solitude is rich and generative.
If the extrovert is trying to "cheer up" the introvert - extroverts are programmed to seek social rewards! - he or she may feel like a failure if the introvert remains unmoved.
Introverts are more effective leaders of proactive employees. When you have a creative, energetic work force, an introvert is going to draw out that energy better.
One of the best places for a shy person to meet people is in a coffee shop. If you are a reader, bring a book and read it there - that gives a guy something to ask you about. Same goes for sketching, writing, or any hobby you can take with you.
This is why it is sometimes hard for introverts to find words: we really hate to compromise, and words are always a compromise.
If the extrovert watches and listens a bit more, the introvert's true mood will become more evident.
A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.
A shy kid might look longingly at other kids playing in the schoolyard, afraid and unsure about how to approach them, but an introvert is perfectly content on her own.
For the introvert, conversation can be a very limited forum for self expression. When a song moves you, a writer gets you or a theory enlightens you, you and its creator are connecting in a realm beyond sight or speech.