Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewartis an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and former television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionEntertainer
Date of Birth28 November 1962
CountryUnited States of America
men thinking ends
I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
america stones congress
Congress, the legislative stone in America's urethra.
actors i-can
I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.
sense-of-humor frustrating ifs
Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
christmas new-year holiday
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.' I suppose you could say 'Merry Christmas' and 'Happy New Year,' but you probably have sh*t to do.
jesus humans human-beings
What would Jesus, or any human being who isn't an asshole, do?
odds two worry
The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
hate santa santa-claus
Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
morning government pants
You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
sorry light government
What are you so mad about? That we still have a government? We still have “traffic lights.” We’re sorry. The government’s not perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone.
book communication mean
As our larynxes descended, we were able to make sounds with our mouths in new and far more expressive ways. Verbal language soon overtook physical gesturing as the primary means of communication for all human beings except Italians. (Earth (The Book), p. 36)
mother earth dry
We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
years suffering persecution
We've come from the same history - 2000 years of persecution - we've just expressed our sufferings differently. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complained, we just never thought of putting it to music.
together foxes nations
We must, together as a nation, stop watching Fox.