John Bradshaw
John Bradshaw
moving healthy limits
Healthy shame is an emotion that teaches us about our limits. Like all emotions, shame moves us to get our basic needs met.
heal feels
You can't heal what you can't feel.
heal feels
We cannot heal what we cannot feel.
pain sadness healing
Our sadness is an energy we discharge in order to heal. …Sadness is painful. We try to avoid it. Actually discharging sadness releases the energy involved in our emotional pain. To hold it in is to freeze the pain within us. The therapeutic slogan is that grieving is the ‘healing feeling.’
frightened walked
When I walked out of the seminary, I was 31, but I was like a scared, frightened kid. I had no place to live, no license, no clothes. I was just a lost soul.
figure fires modern satan
The figure of Satan and the fires of hell have been demythologized by modern Christian biblical scholars, theologians and philosophers.
act family instead kid marriage models needy nurturing people role strong tried
In my family, as in all dysfunctional families, instead of parents who act as strong and nurturing role models for their children, you get these needy people who use their children. I was the kid who tried to take on the marriage.
consider embrace people tools ultimately work
I try to get people thinking, to consider their pasts and presents, ultimately encouraging them and giving them the tools to embrace the work of reshaping their lives.
calling false hope modern offer power programs selves tap touch toxic unlimited
The unlimited power that many modern gurus offer is false hope. Their programs calling us to unlimited power have made them rich, not us. They touch our false selves and tap our toxic shame.
books differs formulas offer people quick solutions tidy work
Many self-help books give you these neat, tidy formulas that are really illusions. They dupe people into thinking, 'Well if I can just do that, then everything's going to be okay.' My work differs in that I don't offer quick solutions and simple explanations.
broken conscious define fully good somebody understand
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also know their 'shadow' - they know their weaknesses. In other words, they understand that there is no good without bad. Good and evil are really one, but we have broken them up in our consciousness. We polarize them.
subject
The idea of evil is always subject to denial as a coping mechanism.
allowed express therapy
As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings, so I had to go back through therapy and express the child's pain.
affect argue education element feeling simply technical word
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply the technical word for feeling or emotion.