Jim Norton
Jim Norton
funny grateful humor
You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
funny humor aids
I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.
thinking laughing people
People are too worried a lot of times what other people in the audience are going to think about them, so they like to feign offense so other people don't think that they're inappropriate for laughing at something.
funny humor hug
I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.
badass guy couscous
You really are a badass, edgy guy who tells it like it is...about couscous.
new-york appreciate guy
I appreciate that the New York Daily News will show dead bodies but blur the cover of a French parody magazine. Just out of respect, right guys?
funny running humor
I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.
funny humor clothes
Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.
funny humor cracks
I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open
funny hate humor
For the record, I hate skiing... and if you get killed doing it, GOOD.
funny humor problem
I don't pull out because... it's not my problem.
funny humor picnics
I hope you accidentally drink leukemia at a picnic.
sorry dark apology
Apologies; our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.
funny new-year hate
God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.