Jen Lancaster
Jen Lancaster
JenniferLancasteris an American author whose titles have appeared on the New York Times bestseller list. As of August 2015, she has twelve published books...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionAuthor
CountryUnited States of America
real mean people
In real life, I tend to yell at people a lot. Not because I'm bossy or mean, but because I'm frustrated.
age best-things
The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously.
new-year years venture
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve.
would-be herpes one-word
Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.
cells phones rude
When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?
dog owning-a-dog cracks
Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.
girl simple hands
Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.
workout hate sleep
Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten thousand suns. So when I walk - nay, crawl - out of here at the end of my workouts, I want to lull myself to sleep by picturing my very talented and inspirational trainer getting hit by a bus. A bus that I am driving.
miranda samantha charlotte
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you.
running nice dark
Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.
jobs clever writing
I've determined the ideal job for me is one where I can write clever essays about my life and my employer will give me enough money not only to live a comfortable existence, but also to buy many, many new pairs of shoes.
baby believe records
For the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased.
mind
Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.
children couple careers
I don't care how happily married you are or how deeply enmeshed you are with your children and family and career -- every woman needs a couple of chicks who'll break out the sangria just because you need to vent.