Jackie Mason
Jackie Mason
Jackie Mason is an American stand-up comedian and film and television actor. He is ranked #63 on Comedy Central's 100 greatest stand-up comedians of all-time...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth9 June 1931
CitySheboygan, WI
CountryUnited States of America
drug want mouths
Would you put a pastrami in your mouth if you didn't want to eat it?
want illness queries
It's not a query of staying wholesome. It's a query of discovering a illness you want.
men want rooms
Why is it that they have Bibles in every motel room? Why should a man want to read the Bible when he's with a woman alone in a motel room? Why would he be interested? Whatever he's praying for, he's already got!
kids wanted accountants
Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?
decided
We were going to do it before the hurricane, but decided to wait,
believe expect reason though
Frankly, I'm in shock. I just can't believe it...even though I had every reason to expect it.
anybody congenial history lasted second stars
The nervousness never lasted more than a second because he was so congenial and comfortable. He made more stars on his show, probably, than anybody in the whole history of show business.
thinking giving obsession
I didn't think it was fair to pretend to give of myself when I was so selfishly consumed with my own drives.
differences stories tables
My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.
believe different ridiculous
I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
humility men self
By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?
comedy study calculations
My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.
men guy shapes
You know how many stunning women told me they can't stand a good-looking man? ... Women feel secure with an ugly guy because a man in bad shape isn't gonna cheat.
honesty decency
Honesty is nothin' compared to decency.