Jack
real thinking years
I think that everyone at any age should ask themselves, 'where do I want to be today, where do I want to be tomorrow, and where do I want to be in a hundred years?' We all have clear answers to those questions. We only have so much time. It's a real shame if we don't spend our lives trying to do that.
song doors people
The best pop music is the songs that a group of people can dance to, but you can also listen to in your bed and cry. That's something obviously that The Beatles started and... so having that darkness there opens another door.
girl boys different
So many boys and girls talk the same way, listen to the same music, look the same. If I'm out, I'll notice the person who looks different before I notice the person who's, 'really hot.
real people hollywood
There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.
pain doctors waiting
The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me except that I have a slight stomach pain. Wait till I get my hospital bill! Then I'll really have a pain the stomach!
believe people matter
No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.
comedian firsts shows
When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
book men snow
Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.
beautiful rooms dump
I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.
men journalism quitting
I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.
mean air firsts
I'm happy to be making my first appearance on air professionally. By that I mean I'm finally getting paid, which I know will be a great relief to my creditors.
girl car long
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.
long matter facts
I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.
hate believe comedian
I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.