Homer
Homer
Homeris best known as the author of the Iliad and the Odyssey. He was believed by the ancient Greeks to have been the first and greatest of the epic poets. Author of the first known literature of Europe, he is central to the Western canon...
NationalityGreek
ProfessionPoet
wife wedding-day vow
My wife's not some doobie to be passed around! I took a vow on our wedding day to bogart her for life.
hate kids internet
Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.
brother cocktails red
You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!
jars twins funny-simpsons
If it doesn't have siamese twins in a jar, it is not a fair.
weed garden process
Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.
stupid mad ifs
If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things.
children believe i-believe
I believe children are the future...which is why they must be stopped now!
goods-and-services goods
Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
home soul native
His native home deep imag'd in his soul.
life hilarious funny-beer
When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle. THEY'RE ON TV!
boys liquid balls
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.
thinking mistaken ifs
If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're mistaken!
way cylinders should
This is the way I've always thought it should be. We've always blamed ourselves, but I guess we know what cylinder wasn't firing!
believe thinking hands
You know, I've been thinking. Everybody makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but usually the jelly drips over the side and the guys hands get all sticky, but your jelly stays right in the middle where it's supposed to. I don't know how you do it, you've just got a gift, I guess. I've always thought so. I just never mentioned it, but it's time you know how I feel - I don't believe in keeping feelings bottled up. Good bye, my wife.