Greg Fitzsimmons
Greg Fitzsimmons
Gregory Sebastian "Greg" Fitzsimmonsis an American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer and radio host...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth5 April 1966
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
freedom people
There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it.
cutting guy people rage road shocked speeding sure
I'm sure people are shocked when they see a guy speeding and cutting them off and having road rage while in a Prius.
sex two people
If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.
people bread bananas
When a banana gets rotten people love to tell you that you can make banana bread out of it. I have never seen anyone actually do it.
ideas giving people
Trickle-down economics - it didn't work. The whole idea was supply-side economics: give rich people a lot of money; they'll spend it, it'll go into the economy. Here's what we found out - rich people, really good at keeping all the money. That's how they got rich. If you want it in the economy, give it to the poor people. You know what they're really good at? Spending all their money.
camp coast four francisco hang san santa schedule work
When I work in San Francisco doing stand-up, I usually schedule it for July, and we'll drive up the coast and camp in Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Big Sur, and we'll just camp our way up the coast, and then we'll get to San Francisco and hang out there for four days.
against bronx committed era growing left means opposite protests status
Growing up with Bronx Irish parents during an era of protests against the status quo, I was especially committed to doing the opposite of what I was told to do. Forty-four years later, I am left with only one means of making a living: comedy.
classes mic nights open signing
When I was in college, I would go out, and I would go to these open mic nights at Stitches and Nick's Comedy Stop, so I was going to classes during the day, and then at night, I would be signing up on the lists.
break information matter personal revealing stay subject trust
That is the thing about being a writer; your subject matter may not stay your subject matter if you break their trust by revealing personal and editorialized information about them.
change consumer energy hard jump life selling test waste
I don't like to change things too much. I think pretty hard about things before I jump in, and once I do, I feel, 'All right, I don't want to waste the energy of buying, selling this, going on Consumer Reports, test driving, buying, selling a house.' I feel life is to be lived.
anymore calendar gamble george last late lunch meet since sound time town weekly
I don't gamble anymore since I had a kid. I have fun in Vegas. I see shows, Cirque du Soleil. Don Rickles was in town last time I was there. I'll have lunch with George Wallace. I just look in the Weekly calendar and see who's performing, and inevitably, we all meet up late night at one of the casinos. Jesus, I sound boring.
america excitement goose heard hearing joined love mention seemed since uniquely
Since first hearing the story as a child, any mention of the 'Boston Tea Party' has elicited in me an excitement that is uniquely American. When I heard rumblings that there was a new Tea Party, I got goose bumps. I love tea, I love parties, I hate taxes; I'm in! It seemed that most of America joined in my excitement!
dad family game good host jerry lewis original point
My dad was in radio; he was a broadcaster, and it was in the family. He hosted kind of a game show at one point on TV; he was the original host of 'Good Day New York,' and he hosted the Jerry Lewis telethon for 15 years.
grows large lurks narcissist opportunity shadows weary
What is most difficult is when the large part of me that is a narcissist grows weary and is overtaken by the self-loathing part that always lurks in the shadows waiting for an opportunity to shine.