Emo Philips
Emo Philips
Emo Philipsis an American entertainer and comedian born in the Chicago suburb of Downers Grove. Much of his standup comedy stems from the use of paraprosdokians spoken in a wandering falsetto tone of voice and a confused, childlike delivery of his material to produce the intended comic timing in a manner invoking the 'wisdom of children' or the idiot savant...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth7 February 1956
CityChicago, IL
CountryUnited States of America
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
The nicest present I ever got was an exploding suppository.
I'm from Downer's Grove, Illinois. We had a blackout there the other day, but fortunately the police made him get back into his car before he got too far.
They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.
When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.
Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Like, this time, it's on December 25th.
Well! I feel happy these days. I've started taking a herbal anti-depressant. It's called Saint John's Wort. Apparently it's the best-selling anti-depressant in many places. It's the most popular anti-depressant in Germany... After, I'm guessing, amnesia...
Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.
The question is absurd: when you ask, 'If God is both all good and all powerful, why then does He allow suffering?', what you are really asking is, 'If God is both all good and all powerful, why then can He not make me (the questioner) - who is just as much a part of a universe in which there is suffering as is any other part - be at the same time the exact same questioner, but one who is now part and parcel of a universe in which there is no suffering?' Which, reduced down, is the same thing as asking, 'Why can there not be, at the same time, X and the preclusion of X?'
The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.