Doug Stanhope
Doug Stanhope
Douglas Stanhope is an American stand-up comedian, actor, and author known for his cynical and controversial comedy style and libertarian political views...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 March 1967
CityWorcester, MA
CountryUnited States of America
party mean thinking
I think it's probably much easier to do political comedy from a two-party point of view, in that the majority have some sense of what it means to be one or the other.
fun hype garbage
I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it's all hype and garbage, but you're still really paranoid afterwards. It's fun entertainment.
journey airports ass
It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.
games people competition
A lot of the Olympic games just boil down to genetics. Michael Phelps is genetically built to swim better than other people if he trains the same way. You might as well have a competition for who's the tallest, and act like it's anyone's game!
dad dna mouths
I'm a bit of a potty mouth. My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap, but that was just to get rid of any traces of his DNA.
night men thinking
I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.
watches film
I'm gonna film my entire life and watch it later!
law punishment vices
There should be no such thing as a vice law. Every vice is only a bad habit, and the punishment is inherent in the act.
battle goes-on stage
I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.
party four way
I'm forty four; I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.
night people bars
The revolution I was starting where I thought I could yell at 200 people in a bar every night and change the world didn't quite happen.
children hate people
You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; it would be different if it was your own child. Well what if it wasn't?
three sitting clubs
Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.
catholic church body
The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.