David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
drinking white car
Some Secret Service guys crashed a car into the White House. And they had been drinking when it happened. Actually, they hit a barrier trying to get to the White House. It's the same thing that is happening to Hillary.
good-luck thinking president
The president met with BP CEO Tony Hayward, and Obama was demanding that BP clean up the Gulf. And I'm thinking, good luck. They can't even clean up their gas station restrooms.
zero white house
The White House is saying Donald Trump has 'zero percent chance' of being elected. Isn't that a little high?
fun years guy
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector.
health clothes gentleman
Ladies and gentlemen, after what I've been through, I am happy just to be wearing clothes that open in the front.
drinking thinking nuts
When you think about flying, it's nuts really. Here you are at about 40,000 feet, screaming along at 700 miles an hour and you're sitting there drinking Diet Pepsi and eating peanuts. It just doesn't make any sense.
inspirational country witty
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
4th-of-july two alcohol
The 4th of July combines the two things Americans love most in one day: alcohol and explosives.
children catholic church
The Catholic Church has a tough new policy on child molestors: three strikes and you're a cardinal.
inspirational two people
People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
weekend enron-scandal interesting
Are you getting a big kick out of the Enron scandal? I find this interesting that whenever a big crisis starts, people start showing up in church. So, Ken Lay shows up in church this weekend. Church officials are still looking for the collection plates.
new-york cities ferrets
Mayor de Blasio has legalized ferrets. Now you can legally own ferrets in New York City. I want to tell you something. If I want to see anymore beady-eyed little weasels, I'll just keep riding the subway.
mom fun home
Chi-Os were ideal partners for all occasions. They were discrete, desirable, tactful, polite, and fun... Every mom dreamed of her son coming home with a Chi Omega, a woman's woman.
funny sarcastic purpose
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.