David Letterman

David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
japan korea president
President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate.
morning sex heart
The morning after I had my heart bypass, the doctor called and said, Soon you'll be able to have sex. I said, I've heard that for years.
funny running new-york
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.
funny country winning
The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as cash.
baseball dog love-is
You know what I love best about baseball? The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt - and that's just in the hot-dogs.
funny son night
The night before the Olympics opening ceremony, my son, who is eight years old, gets very excited and likes to put out a plate of cookies and some milk for Bob Costas.
funny team father
Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.
white house watches
George W. said he doesn't watch television. And, of course, well - the reason for that is the Clintons stole the White House satellite system.
halloween kids giving
Last Halloween I ran out of candy and I had to give the kids nicotine gum.
hair aliens illegal
Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.
team fire texas
Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's adding advisers to his campaign team. This guy had advisers? Really?
retirement gun gentleman
Moammar Gadhafi was found hiding in a storm sewer with a gold-plated gun. That's me in retirement, ladies and gentlemen.
yankees boston guy
So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? If he'd had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed.
mistake three delta
Delta: We never make the same mistake three times.