David Letterman
David Letterman
David Michael Lettermanis an American former television talk show host, comedian, and producer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionTV Show Host
Date of Birth12 April 1947
CityIndianapolis, IN
CountryUnited States of America
house free-time
I spend most of my free time under the house.
names iraq republican
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
football new-york congratulations
Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.
trying today sitting
Hillary's trying to appear downhome. Earlier today she was sitting on the front porch of a general store whittling a pantsuit.
differences people wish
According to a new survey, people who get divorced die early. People who stay married live longer. The difference is they just wish they were dead.
wall phones two
I wish the iPhone people would design one that's black and has two pieces, and it plugs into the wall and you can pick one piece up and talk into it. I tell you, the whole time I had one of those old-fashioned plug-in phones, not once did I misplace it.
use bedroom
Don't use your bedroom for work, unless you're a prostitute.
running talking fake
Donald Trump is talking about running for president. He hasn't made an announcement, but I want to tell you something. The fake suspense is killing me.
new-york night light
To save energy, New York City is now dimming the lights of the skyscrapers and the skyline at night. There's a bad side to this. If you need Batman, you have to text him.
men thinking pounds
Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Donald is a big man, I think 230 pounds -- 235 with cologne.
mean thinking guy
George W. Bush has a new campaign slogan: "A reformer with results." I don't know what it means [but] I think it's better than his old campaign slogan: "A dumb guy with connections.
new-york believe night
Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows?
white house trying
At the White House, they caught another fence jumper earlier today. It was Obama trying to get out.
central-park sparrows today
I saw a robin redbreast in Central Park today, but it turned out to be a sparrow with an exit wound.