Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, television host, actor, writer, and executive producer. He is known for his deliberately offensive and controversial style of black comedy, as the host of the Comedy Central television show Tosh.0 and as the star of stand-up comedy tours and specials...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth29 May 1975
CityBoppard, Germany
CountryUnited States of America
sex plans ifs
Technically it's not premarital sex if you don't plan on marrying them.
mother jesus kids
I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one the other day. Well, a few minutes later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell.
girl zero gay
How about we get rid of separate bathrooms for boys and girls? Gays and straights share the bathroom with zero issues. We need to put an end to the sexist pooping policies of yesterday. The only way to achieve gender equality is to start crapping in front of each other.
funny beautiful people
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a room. You know people would be like, 'Did you see that guy come out of the bathroom? The one with doves, it was beautiful.'
garden eden firsts
If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything?
funny guy asian
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
heart abortion normal
I heart abortion. Where's the shirt for that, urban outfitters?! And it won't be a normal heart. It'll be a dead infant heart. Y'know what the back will say? Problem Solved.
phrases should ends
They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.
soccer country europe
If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable - unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.
girl nice guy
Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.
couple trying comedy
Comedy Central wanted to do a show with me, I had a couple failures under my belt with them already, but they still wanted to try something else. They came to me and said they wanted to do something that was internet focused and created original content on their site, so they could compete with the funny or dies and what not. So that was the premise, and they gave us a small amount of money, $5000, and from there it turned into the show.
men ugly ugly-women
Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.
funny girlfriend scary
You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.
kids racism black
Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.