Cynthia Heimel
Cynthia Heimel
Cynthia Heimelis a feminist humorist writer from Oakland, California. She is a columnist and the author of satirical books primarily aimed at a female readership and known for their unusual titles, as well as a playwright and television writer...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionWriter
CountryUnited States of America
humor sense-of-humor percent
A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything.
believe voice feminist
We have to have faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.
sleep men thinking
One does not have to sleep with, or even touch, someone who has paid for your meal. All those obligations are hereby rendered null and void, and any man who doesn't think so needs a quick jab in the kidney.
self-esteem men trying
Throughout their lives, women try to pummel their bodies into some phantom ideal shape that exists only with a lot of airbrushing. ... I don't blame men for this. Men seem to go for us no matter what size and shape we are. I blame capitalism. No, really. The consumer must constantly be in a state of anxious low self-esteem so that she will constantly buy lipsticks and girdles to make her feel cuter.
inspirational life creative
There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.
dog innocent dog-lover
Dogs are us, only innocent.
american-writer
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net.
believes convinced faith great met might suspects voice woman
We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she's convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck.
acting creative gigantic idiot line thin
When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.
insecure men ruin silly
All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.