Craig Brown
Craig Brown
Craig Edward Moncrieff Brownis an English critic and satirist, best known for his parodies in Private Eye...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionCritic
Date of Birth23 May 1957
life longer others people prefer
Some people see life as a game of chess, while others prefer to see it as a game of cricket; but the longer I live, the more I think of it as a game of Consequences.
equal life money roughly tricks
One of the tricks of life is to have sense and money in roughly equal proportions.
life matter mean telling turn turtle
Words have a life of their own. There is no telling what they will do. Within a matter of days, they can even turn turtle and mean the opposite.
designed dictates goes large life objects providence tiny
As life goes on, we accrue more and more loseable objects. Providence dictates that objects that are too large to lose, such as houses, always come with tiny little keys, specially designed to give you the slip.
art life monument possibly putting until
My life is a monument to procrastination, to the art of putting things off until later, or much later, or possibly never.
compelling life strangers tedious trailing
In real life, nothing would be more tedious than trailing around after two strangers as they went house-hunting in Hertfordshire. But for some reason, television is more compelling than real life.
astonished cameras clean dropped good living people shoulders television tend whenever
Whenever television cameras are interviewing people in their homes, I tend to look over their shoulders and have a good snoop at their living rooms. I am always astonished at how clean they all look, with nothing out of place or unnecessary or dropped down any old how.
deals people valuable
There are some deals to be made right now. Some people don't want to rebuild. And they don't want the headaches. But it's not as valuable as it will be in the future.
eminent enjoyable few microphone quite watching
There are few things quite so effortlessly enjoyable as watching an eminent person getting in a huff and flouncing out of a television interview, often with microphone trailing.
affect forgotten guys indictment players playing quite resilient suspect
Players are resilient guys and tomorrow, quite frankly, I suspect it'll all be forgotten - after all, they're not playing for Sven, they are playing for England. So to say it could affect their performance, that's an indictment of the players.
badly hit men playing tend trying
Like many men who play tennis, when I hit a ball into the net, I tend to look daggers at my racket, reproaching it for playing so badly when I myself have been trying so hard.
art highly men outsource prefer recovery skilled
Like many men, I am highly skilled in the art of losing things but prefer to outsource the recovery process.
bowler persist pinch wearing
Like the periwig and the bowler bat, the plus-four and the bow-tie, the blazer is on the way out, and those who persist in wearing it do so with a smattering of self-consciousness, a touch of obstinacy, even a pinch of camp.
It is only if you happen to be a newscaster that the tongue-twister spells peril.