Craig Brown
Craig Brown
Craig Edward Moncrieff Brownis an English critic and satirist, best known for his parodies in Private Eye...
NationalityEnglish
ProfessionCritic
Date of Birth23 May 1957
art life monument possibly putting until
My life is a monument to procrastination, to the art of putting things off until later, or much later, or possibly never.
decent fugitive item number
A decent beard has long been the number one must-have fashion item for any fugitive from justice.
crash crashes lots orderly people time
People think of waves as going in an orderly crash - whoosh - crash - whoosh, but in fact there are lots of different crashes and whooshes, all at different stages, and all going off at the same time.
hard last reveal sole succumbed zombie
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure.
calls clue meant rather send tend wake
Traditionally, wake-up calls are meant to wake you up rather than send you to sleep: the clue is in the wording. But those who talk of wake-up calls tend to have an easy-going way with words.
admitted brightly coloured discreet good grown seems taste
Over the years, the idea seems to have grown up that brightly coloured flowers are vulgar, and that the only flowers to be admitted to the walled garden of good taste are discreet and pastel-hued.
alan blazer worn
Alan Whicker may be the last Briton to have worn a silver-buttoned blazer with complete confidence.
discomfort love outlet pop seems
The British love of queuing and discomfort and being bossed around seems to have found a new outlet in the pop festival.
australia bit hopefully mess worry
Australia is a bit of a mess but hopefully we won't have to worry too much about that for too much longer.
solution
This is not the right solution to the problem.
concerned data margins people spending spent surprised weather
The weather was okay, the spending data suggests that people still went out and spent so I'm not too concerned at this stage. I would be surprised if margins had significantly deteriorated.
full
Just as there is something about an empty skip that makes you want to fill it, so there is something about a full skip that makes you want to empty it.
enemies journalism turning
Journalism could be described as turning one's enemies into money.
focus gives less lie opportunity red value
It gives them the opportunity now to focus on the Red Sheds, which is where we think most of the value can lie in this business, so it's one less distraction they've got.