Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Joy Handleris an American comedian, actress, writer, television host, and producer. She hosted a late-night talk show called Chelsea Lately on the E! network from 2007 to 2014, and released a documentary series, Chelsea Does, on Netflix in January 2016. In May 2016 she began her new talk show Chelsea on Netflix. In 2012, Time placed her on the list of its 100 Most Influential People...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth25 February 1975
CityLivingston, NJ
CountryUnited States of America
If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?
You got married recently to a rapper. It doesn't take them long to impregnate women.
I'm actually pretty good at tennis. Well, if I'm in the Special Olympics or something.
Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.
It always freaks me out when I go to a sushi place and there's a Mexican.
If you wait too long in Vegas, you end up with a chicken finger in your underwear.
I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.
Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.
Rumer Willis was having a great time at the opening of a club when her twin walked in, also known as her dad, Bruce Willis. How embarrassing for her, she's out with her friends and they're like, 'Umm, Rumer, I think your dad put something in my drink.'
A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.
The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.
My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many things contribute to the whole of a person, and just because vodka accounts for 50 percent of my body weight, that doesn't mean I walk around with a vodka drip, forcing every plant, person, or animal to imbibe. I've always had a disliking for animal trainers, and this guy cemented my theory that people who chaperone animals for a living have never had a girl sit on their face.