Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer
Amy Beth Schumeris an American stand-up comedian, writer, actress, and producer. She is the creator, co-producer, co-writer and star of the sketch comedy series Inside Amy Schumer, which debuted on Comedy Central in 2013 and has received a Peabody Award. Schumer has been nominated for five Primetime Emmy Awards for her work on the series, winning for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series in 2015. That year, she also wrote and starred in the comedy film Trainwreck, receiving nominations for the Writers...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1981
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
My mom's always saying really smart things... like, you probably heard this one, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one.
I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.
I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.
Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.
I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.
You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.
The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer; they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!
You shoot saltwater in your ass?
It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?
The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows?
Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.