Amy Schumer
Amy Schumer
Amy Beth Schumeris an American stand-up comedian, writer, actress, and producer. She is the creator, co-producer, co-writer and star of the sketch comedy series Inside Amy Schumer, which debuted on Comedy Central in 2013 and has received a Peabody Award. Schumer has been nominated for five Primetime Emmy Awards for her work on the series, winning for Outstanding Variety Sketch Series in 2015. That year, she also wrote and starred in the comedy film Trainwreck, receiving nominations for the Writers...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth1 June 1981
CityNew York City, NY
CountryUnited States of America
I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.
Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.
I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.
Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
Song "Sixteen Going on Seventeen" is actually about syphilis.
Out of nowhere she tells me that Oliver Stone - you know, the director - she's like, 'He has this huge Asian fetish, and I find it totally offensive.' And I'm like, 'Why, Kwan? That sounds awesome.' She's like, 'I'm offended because I'm Asian.' And I was just like, 'Well, I'm sorry, but I didn't even notice that. I thought you were just really tired.
I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.
He was really into family... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'
I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.
The girls I grew up with they're living normal, adult lives. So they call me now and they're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still react like, 'What are you going to do? I'll drive you, I guess.
It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
My comedy is unapologetic and fearless. Like, sometimes you'll wind up having condomless sex with someone that you probably shouldn't. I'm interested in sharing that part of myself unapologetically so that other people will hopefully feel better.
You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.