Famous Quotes & Sayings

Dave Barry

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

Dave Barry

Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.

Michael Moriarty

Obama's IRS is not the IRS I've ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.

Dmitri Mendeleev

Elements which are similar as regards their chemical properties have atomic weights which are either of nearly the same value (eg. Pt, Ir, Os) or which increase regularly (eg. K, Ru, Cs).

Laurence J. Peter

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form

Bob Thaves

When you come into the world you have nothing... when you leave you have nothing... and in between there's the IRS.

Frank Degen

You can be looking at 25 percent of the tax that is owed, plus all the interest. If you don't pay then the IRS can take some pretty Draconian measures.

Jeffrey Kelson

Remember, you don't want to have any more correspondence with the IRS than is necessary.

Lyn Nofziger

If you make one word out of 'The IRS' it spells 'theirs.'

George Carlin

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids

Etgar Keret

The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids.

Kyle Smith

The movies are celluloid hemorrhoids. No, worse: They're celluloid Bon Jovi.

Charles Caleb Colton

The masses procure their opinions ready made in open market.

Charles Spurgeon

There is nothing that will keep a person from Christ like a good opinion of himself.

Al Pacino

Opinions I have about anything are in my personal life.

Catherine the Great

I do not love strife, because I have always found that in the end each remains of the same opinion.

Catherine the Great

Nothing is more difficult, in my opinion, than to avoid something that fundamentally attracts you.

Carl Hiaasen

I still do a weekly opinion column for the Miami Herald, and it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Rotten fish.

David Hume

All power, even the most despotic, rests ultimately on opinion.

Benedict Cumberbatch

I genuinely don't know Julian Assange well. To authenticate an opinion, I really would have to meet him.

Diana Gabaldon

I swore an oath before the altar of God to protect this woman. And if you're tellin' me that ye consider your own authority to be greater than that of the Almighty, then I must inform ye that I'm not of that opinion, myself.