Famous Quotes & Sayings

Rory Bremner

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.

Eric Morecambe

I'm playing all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

Tommy Cooper

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'

Dawn French

We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief. We can't decide which film to parody at the moment. Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight.

Dawn French

Turn up your radio. Watch lots of telly and eat loads of choc. Feel guilty. Stay up all night. Learn everything in six hours that has taken you two years to compile. That's how I did it.

Rory Bremner

We are rather in the position that used to exist at the BBC, where you feel that you can pick up the phone to people who are experts in their field and they will be very favourably disposed to you and share their knowledge.

Tony Hancock

So I turned these sort of deficiencies into a, a workable thing if you understand what I mean.

Tony Hancock

And erm, perhaps looking like this it was perhaps the only thing I could do.

Simon Pegg

Because once the word got out that we were making Shaun of the Dead, we didn't want people to think we were backtracking or changing our minds.

Byron Katie

Everything happens for me, not to me.

Bryan Ferry

I can never predict what's going to happen.

Catherynne M. Valente

That’s what happens to friends, eventually. They leave you. It’s practically what they’re for.

Dorothy Allison

Where story comes from, I don't know. I know that I become obsessed with something. An idea, an image, a person, the way a person talks. And then something starts happening that I can't explain, and it has a lot to do with language.

Julien Dray

When youths take to the street, you don't know what can happen ....

Mariel Hemingway

I've known for years that you're supposed to be present. I know that thinking about what's happened or thinking about what I want is not going to get me anywhere, but until I quit doing it I'm not present.

Delos Smith

When you take a look at what's happened in the last month, you see the same kind of pace?right on down the line. It shows a nice, steady moderate pace, which is what you want.

Holly Holm

It doesn't matter what odds are on paper or what's happened before. It matters what happens that moment.

Jon Gruden

We're not going to sit here and try to justify what happened two or three years ago and what happened last year,

Charles Caleb Colton

Expect not praise without envy until you are dead.

Charles Dickens

There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets.

Charles Simmons

Good Humor is the best shield against the darts of satirical raillery

Alan Watts

The reason we want to go on and on is because we live in an impoverished present.

Alan Moore

Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

David Sedaris

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

Dave Barry

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

Dave Barry

The basic Roman ruin design is a pile of rocks with a little plaque saying "Roman Ruins" and a group of tourists frowning at it and wishing they were back at the hotel bar..

Richard Berthelsen

We're insisting that it be sooner rather than later.

Jim Calhoun

Like Hubie, and sometimes like Jim, I can be rather lengthy.

Rudi Giuliani

made it a rule ... rather than the exception.

Thomas Mars

I'm a lazy guy. I can't focus for too long. I'd rather hear a record that has no filler.

Kate Bush

I don't know about hiding away, but I really only like to present myself when I'm working on something - it's more my work I like to present to the world rather than myself.

Keeley Hawes

I am not into action and adventure on holiday; that doesn't really do it for me. I would much rather go and lie down.

Abigail Perkins

Mohamed stated he would rather kill only Americans.

Suzanne Farrell

So I think it is rather strange that I got into ballet, something that I hadn't seen.

Michael Messner

She was rather abrasive and difficult, but it must've taken that kind of personality to survive and to do what she did in the 1960s.

Edward Gibbon

Rational confidence [is] the just result of knowledge and experience.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

If you don’t find the time, if you don’t do the work, you don’t get the results.

Jason Terry

We accomplished most of our goals, and now it's time to put it all together. The results will be sweet if we do.

Bob Riley

When money follows results - we will get more results for our money

Bill Walsh

Concentrate on what will produce results rather than on the results, the process rather than the prize.

Romeo Crennel

When we get the results on that, we'll let you know.

John Baumann

We're just getting our first results back. So far, so good.

Alexandra Adornetto

Find x if (x)=2sin3x,over the domain -2piX=Beth 'Stop goofing around!',I said. 'I'm not! I'm stating the truth.You're my solution to everything',Xavier replied. 'The end result is always you.X always equals Beth.

Kirstie Alley

I've been irresponsible many, many, many times and that has resulted in my being fat.