Famous Quotes & Sayings

Carol Leifer

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Carol Leifer

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Carl Friedrich Gauss

Ask her to wait a moment I am almost done.

Agnes Repplier

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

Agnes Repplier

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Abba Eban

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Alan King

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

Alan Kay

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Agnes Macphail

I suggest that there is a splendid way out of the difficulty of marriage, and that is my way - stay out.

Alan King

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet.

Alan King

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

Charles Dudley Warner

There isn't a wife in the world who has not taken the exact measure of her husband, weighed him and settled him in her own mind, and knows him as well as if she had ordered him after designs and specifications of her own.

Richard G. Scott

There are powerful emotions that bring two people together in wonderful harmony in a marriage. Satan knows this, and would tempt you to try these emotions outside of marriage. Do not stir emotions meant to be used only in marriage.

Susan B. Anthony

Marriage, to women as to men, must be a luxury, not a necessity; an incident of life, not all of it. And the only possible way to accomplish this great change is to accord to women equal power in the making, shaping and controlling of the circumstances of life.

Susan B. Anthony

I never felt I could give up my life of freedom to become a man's housekeeper. When I was young, if a girl married poverty, she became a drudge; if she married wealth, she became a doll. Had I married at twenty-one, I would have been either a drudge or a doll for fifty-five years. Think of it!

Tracy McMillan

Yes, I have 'failed' at marriage - a lot.

David McCullough

My wife, the star I steer by.

Dave Barry

If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when there WAS a military conflict, everybody involved would feel just awful and there would soon be a high-level exchange of notes written on greeting cards with flowers on the front, followed by a Peace Luncheon

Preston Sturges

wouldn't it be hilarious if he ran his pipes through (fill in the blank)?

Bill Watterson

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

Benny Hill

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

Bob Thaves

Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.

Daniel Handler

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

Ashleigh Brilliant

If you have something to say and say nothing, you are really telling a lie.

Ashleigh Brilliant

Look how often the unexpected happens - yet we still never expect it.

Ashleigh Brilliant

One possible reason that I don't believe in fate is that I wasn't fated to.