Famous Quotes & Sayings

Mike Birbiglia

When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate.

Tracy Morgan

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We're all going to heaven, but everybody's not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I'm going to sit on the couch with Oprah.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent. In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Nica Burns

The Perrier is about helping to discover new talent, ... In years to come, this generation of young comedians who are stepping into the spotlight will be setting the heather alight.

Maria Bamford

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

Norm MacDonald

I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.

Frank Mastalerz

We're going to look like we're guilty of something when it's just comedians and vaudeville dancing.

Chuck Palahniuk

I've always thought stand-up comedians were the oral storytellers of our time, because they know rhetoric, they know delivery, they know timing, they know all of these things that you can only learn by telling a story out loud and interacting with an audience.

Aziz Ansari

You go to any Jay-Z concert, and he plays his hits. Comedians don't have hits. You have to have a whole brand-new hour. You have no hits to rely on. It's the hardest thing.

Carol Leifer

I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or their sensibility.

Andy Bader

We were trying to make a movie that was funny, but also trying to be smart about being funny. We just wanted to make people laugh,. If you want to make a comedy you just don't want to hit people in the groin for two hours, even though that's really funny too. We wanted our jokes to have a little weight to them.

Texas Battle

To all my soap fans out there, my horror fanatics, comedy lovers, I will tell you this: 'Death Valley' is an action-packed drama, comedic, horror TV series that has a non-stop adventure in each episode. It's like a huge pot of Texas gumbo. If you like all four of those genres, then you'll love this show.

Don Ohlmeyer

Veronica's Closet' will do a 27 share on a Thursday night and it's dismissed. And (Comedy Central's) 'South Park' does a two share and it's on the cover of 'Newsweek' magazine.

Don Adams

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all

David Suchet

Deep inside, I am desperate to do comedy.

Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

American comedies about Asians have never been funny to me. That always kind of pissed me off.

Katherine Parkinson

You do develop a taste as an actress: Chekhov, Ayckbourn: it's the combination of comedy and human drama. I would never want to do anything without comedy.

Bruce Campbell

I see parody as another form of comedy.

Carlos Beltran

It's going to be crazy. I'm guessing when we play against the Dominicans, half the field will be Dominican fans and half will be Puerto Rican fans. With all the big-time players in the World Classic, it's going to be huge.

Carl Bernstein

There's something totally crazy about this.

Carl Andre

If you're any good as an artist, you have to be doing something nobody else has interest in. Nobody would be interested in my work except a few crazy people.

Aaron Sorkin

I want to convey that I'm crazy about the Kardashians - but I'm not sure which is which.

Alan Sugar

An entrepreneur is not what you call yourself, it's what someone calls you in recognition of what you've achieved. I call Richard Branson an entrepreneur. Rupert Murdoch called me one. Anybody who stands up and says: 'I'm an entrepreneur' needs shooting. You'll drive people crazy.

Charlie Cox

I was at a school in England, a prep school, from the ages of 8 and 13. And every play they did was a musical. Parents love musicals. And I don't sing. It was driving me crazy. 'We're doing 'Macbeth.'' 'Yes!' 'The musical!' And I was always in the chorus, because of course, in all the main parts, you had to be able to sing.

Charlie Daniels

A friend of mine, that I had known for some time, came up one day with an old guitar. I don't know where he got it, I don't know how long he'd had it, but he knew about two chords on it. He proceeded to teach them to me, and then we proceeded to go crazy over music.

Charles Dickens

The rain and hail pattered against the glass; the chimneys quaked and rocked; the crazy casement rattled with the wind, as though an impatient hand inside were striving to burst it open. But no hand was there, and it opened no more.

Charles Stross

The late 90s were crazy science-fictional if you were inside the superheated steam bubble of the dot-com 1.0 industry.

Peter Rice

Whenever we can, we like to improve the situation.

Jon Favreau

When I'm working with improv people, I give them the green light to just bring it and try things.

Travis Bradberry

Taking time to contemplate what you're grateful for isn't merely the 'right' thing to do. It also improves your mood because it reduces the stress hormone cortisol by 23%.

Tony Hawk

There's a stigma to skating. People think of it as a kid's sport. People kept telling me I couldn't possibly make a living out of it. Then they said I couldn't keep it up in my 30s. And here I am in my 40s, and I'm still improving my skills.

Catherine Booth

There is no improving the future without disturbing the present.

Cary Grant

I improve on misquotation.

Sue Miller

This will not only replace what you have now, it will drastically improve what you have now.

David Marsh

This was a strong day for us, so we should have scored a lot of points. We did, and I am very pleased with that. We will have to keep improving from here.

Clayton Wilcox

We did not make the kind of leapfrog improvement we need to. While I wasn't ecstatic, I'm pleased with the trend lines.

Larry Bailey

The process starts by sending a letter to the owner by certified mail.

Bryan Callen

Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.

Gloria Allred

We've also faxed them a letter yesterday letting them know that she would like to be a party, be told of the developments, she'd like to be able to visit and she'd like the return of her twins as soon as possible.

Camille Claudel

Don't fear anything for your letters, they are burnt one by one and I hope you do the same with mine.

Bob Hope

You know what a fan letter is - it's just an inky raspberry.

Charles Barkley

When you get arrested it's in big letters. When you get acquitted it's in small letters.

Elbert Hubbard

Grammar is the grave of letters.

Benjamin Franklin

Let the Letter stay for the Post, and not the Post for the Letter

Greg Strobel

Letters is antsy, but he's ready. He's been off quite a while and can't wait to mix it up with someone. He's a little nervous, too. It's been six weeks since a 'live' bout, so that's quite a mid-season break.

Carlos Beltran

I'm a family man. I just love being around my family.

C. S. Lewis

You ask whether I have ever been in love: fool as I am, I am not such a fool as that. But if one is only to talk from first-hand experience, conversation would be a very poor business. But though I have no personal experience of the things they call love, I have what is better - the experience of Sappho, of Euripides, of Catallus, of Shakespeare, of Spenser, of Austen, of Bronte, of anyone else I have read.

C. S. Lewis

Last year, when he had been staying with the Pevensies, he had managed to hear them all talking of Narnia and he loved teasing them about it. He thought of course that they were making it all up; and as he was far too stupid to make anything up himself, he did not approve of that.

C. S. Lewis

It is, of course, quite true that God will not love you any less, or have less use for you, if you happen to have been born with a very second-rate brain.

C. S. Lewis

It is no disparagement to the garden to say it will not fence and weed itself, nor prune its own fruit trees, nor roll and cut its own lawns...It will remain a garden only if someone does all these things to it...If you want to see the difference between [the garden's] contribution and the gardener's, put the commonest weed it grows side by side with his hoes rakes, shears, and a packet of weed killer; you have put beauty, energy, and fecundity beside dead, steril things. Just so, our 'decency and common sense' show grey and deathlike beside the geniality of love.

Agnes Smedley

Yet it is awful to love a person who is a torture to you. And a fascinating person who loves you and won't hear of anything but your loving him and living right by his side through all eternity!

Agnes Repplier

Love is a malady, the common symptoms of which are the same in all patients ...

Agnes Repplier

It has been wisely said that we cannot really love anybody at whom we never laugh.

Aaron Stanford

Actors, we like stories, we like storytelling, we love being a part of the story, and if you give us a story that's interesting then we'll want to do it.

David Blair

We know we have a long ways to go with the Missoula public.

Roger McNamee

Motorola to me in some ways is a very disappointing company,

Jacob Lew

There are lots of ways to work together.

Reid Hoffman

Entrepreneurs are like visionaries. One of the ways they run forward is by viewing the thing they're doing as something that's going to be the whole world.

Colin Devine

There are ways to get around that, though.

Mike Stoops

More and more we need to find ways to get them on the field. They are very athletic, and I think they can contribute.

Mike Sanford

I feel like we've improved, and we still have a long ways to go. By far, we have not arrived.

Sebastian Seung

There are many ways in which genes influence the brain.

Herman Edwards

There are a lot of ways you can do that, and that's why I'm not saying, ... I don't want to say anything at this point.