Famous Quotes & Sayings

Larry David

People have often wondered how they'd feel if they were adopted. I think it's funny.

Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.

Susan Stroman

Mel has written 10 new songs, and they're very funny. It's a year and a half away from opening on Broadway.

Billy Corgan

The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.

Bill Shankly

A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Engvall

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Bill Engvall

My son is 12 now, and is really getting into girls. A lot. But the thing about twelve year old boys is that they don't possess what I like to call that ... discretionary gene yet. We were walking home from the ballfield the other day and there was a woman walking towards us who was ... gifted. I saw them, and I saw him see them. But she was too close for me to go, "Dude, shut up." She hadn't walked two feet behind us and he goes "God dang, did you see the SIZE of those things?" And all I could say was "Yeah, I did!"

Bill Engvall

No parents. You have Uncle Jesse, forever in overalls. Then there's Bo and Duke. What do they do? I never saw them working for food or gas money. You can only kill so many possum.

Bill Engvall

I thought "RV" stood for "Recreational Vehicle." No! It stands for "Ruins Vacations."

Clark Blaise

Relative to most people I know, I am comfortable just about anywhere. I went to 20 schools before the 8th grade because my father couldn't hold a job. We moved every six months. I had to adjust.

Leane Ross

Our father was a Finnish man, very reserved. He didn't really talk about feelings.

J. M. Roberts

Our father always said, 'She'll come back to us,'

Bible Bible

O thou king, the most high God gave Nebuchadnezzar thy father a kingdom, and majesty, and glory, and honour: / And for the majesty that he gave him, all people, nations, and languages, trembled and feared before him: whom he would he slew; and whom he would he kept alive; and whom he would he set up; and whom he would he put down.

Edward Egan

Please keep the Holy Father in your prayers,

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Grown-ups love figures... When you tell them you've made a new friend they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you "What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies? " Instead they demand "How old is he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make? " Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.

Becca Fitzpatrick

Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand...

B. F. Skinner

The majority of people don't want to plan. They want to be free of the responsibility of planning. What they ask for is merely some assurance that they will be decently provided for. The rest is a day-to-day enjoyment of life. That's the explanation for your Father Divines; people naturally flock to anyone they can trust for the necessities of life... They are the backbone of a community--solid, trust-worthy, essential.

Hal Lebovitz

We never needed for anything, ... My father was a simple man. That's the way he was, and that's the way he lived. And he never lost his sense of humor.

Justin Verlander

People in real life don't get ballplayers' humor, the way we talk in the clubhouse.

Stan Heath

Steven has a humorous side to him that you wouldn't expect. I see more of it this season. Life is more normal for him in some ways. He's opening up slowly.

Joanna Lumley

That's the staggering, humorous thing about money. If you haven't got taste, money doesn't matter: You'll always look ghastly.

Karen Leathem

I think it's sort of a trademark quality of New Orleans that people can usually find humor in the worst situations.

Greg Evans

Laugh at yourself once in a while; give yourself a break.

Ed Peterson

I think this is a legislative sense of humor the rest of us don't appreciate.

Stephen J. Cannell

I love 'Dexter.' The dark sense of humor is wonderful.

Carlos Ponce

I can't live without a sense of humor. I need to be laughing and entertained at all times.

Justin Turner

Jamaal is real a humorous and entertaining guy.