Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child because my parents hired a pony to give rides. And these ponies are never in good health. But this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around.
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side: "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.