Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudneris an American comedian, writer and actress. Beginning her career as a Broadway dancer, Rita Rudner noticed the lack of female comedians in New York City and turned her stage presence to stand-up comedy where she’s flourished for over three decades. Her performance on a variety of HBO specials and numerous appearances on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, helped establish Rudner as one of the premiere female comics to emerge from the comedy boom of the 1980s...
NationalityAmerican
ProfessionComedian
Date of Birth17 September 1953
CityMiami, FL
CountryUnited States of America
My mother was the worst cook ever. In school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.
I can see close up and my husband can see far away, so we're covered. He tells me who's in the movie and I tell him what's in his sandwich. Together we're human bifocals.
There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well, she didn't have to do that. If she wanted to something no one had ever done before, all she had to do was vacuum my apartment.
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Men who write love letters don't live in this century.
Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.
Human nature is largely something that has to be overcome.
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
I have a hold limit that I've set for myself. I hold until I start to imagine myself killing the person on the other end. Then I hang up and regroup.
My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.